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If you don’t have the right terminology you can really get into trouble, or better still cause a great deal of hilarity. I am not considered as technologically savvy, but I have a friend who really takes the cake. I have been trying to drag her into the 21st century for nearly 15 years now, and finally, it has happened.

The wealth of material for future articles that she is giving me is priceless. She has managed to get all concepts about the iPad, the computer, the Internet, e-mail and the methods of getting access to the Internet, mixed up in such a tangle it was mind boggling. She mixed hardware with software, she mixed applications with access methods, but the icing on the cake was her re-naming of the different terms.

When I first tried to introduce her to the iPad, it was sheer excitement. But it took  half a morning and half an afternoon to convince her that she can actually access her e-mail on it.

When it came time for a physical demonstration of how, I told her that she could do so either through the chip that gives her 3G or through Wi-Fi. It took us only two days to agree that it is called Wi-Fi and not Hi-Fi. Though come to think about it she might be on to something naming it that. After all you use it to say hi!

What really knocked me over was her term for the different sizes of bytes. When we got to gega bytes, her term for that was “gaga” bytes! Whenever that came up, that was the end of any rational conversation as I dissolved into uncontrollable laughter. She does retaliate though by threatening to brandish in my face her ancient mobile which is falling apart, a mobile that is so old it is no longer sold in the market, one that was made even before they had cameras installed, the sight of which sends me screaming away and turns my laughter into shudders. So she has a very strong weapon in face of my glee.

She has convinced herself that she knows absolutely nothing about “modern technology”, though she has a computer and has been handling e-mail for some time now, and even browses a bit and Googles often. Yet now that it comes to the iPad she has frozen. I told her about the fun of taking pictures and posting them, and she went ballistic. No, no one thing at a time! Ok, so I let it go for a couple of days but the seed was planted, and sure enough, she started asking me how and where etc. on explaining it to her over the telephone I have to follow the same steps on my iPad to make sure she gets there. She wanted to know where she could find a video she had shot and to review it. So we opened the iPad and I told her to press “Photos”. She did. “Can you see your video?” I asked. “No”. “Well it should be there” I was really puzzled, what has she done with it? “Well I haven’t shot one yet” was the answer!!! So why are you opening Photos for if you have nothing there? Well, that is the kind of communication that we have going.

As she was being newly introduced to Wi-Fi, 3G, 4G, chip, modem, router, bytes, speed etc., I thought it best to write out a sort of chart showing her what is the hardware and what it does, what is the software and what it does, and explain the different access methods as well as I could. But after that she really floored me with a question.

There is a passcode to open the iPad and she set it up. She is a very private person and would panic at the thought of anything becoming public. She even had a very hard time accepting that all her different e-mail addresses appear together! I really cannot fathom how that can be a bad thing, but maybe she thinks this way they can see one another! Anyway, she wanted to change her passcode so that nobody can access her mail! Huh? She thought that if I had the passcode to her iPad I could open it from my iPad and access her mail! If this could happen then it must take a technological wizard, which I am not.

Suffice it to say that for the last couple of weeks she has been keeping me entertained to no end. Her fear of going public and her attempts at anonymity have really been a treasure trove for my writing. Though her excitement when she grasps something and her sheer joy when she actually applies it and it works bring me no end of pleasure. She is a very good friend and I love her dearly, but if it was not for both of us having a sense of humor, I think the last two weeks could have damaged our relationship. She has taken it very well when I fall into helpless, uncontrollable laughter, so I sincerely hope she will have it in her heart to forgive this article.

19 N0v. 2014