It is said that to be truly happy one must find one’s balance. Right now this seems to be a mirage to me. I am so involved in all that is going on in Egypt, with something new and shattering happening every day. My love of Egypt is so strong and my sense of duty so heightened that I feel an obligation to do whatever I can to help. The only way I can help is through trying to raise awareness through my articles.
I have been blessed with the ability to express myself well and to get my thoughts through, so I have been using that God-given gift to the best of my ability to clarify certain aspects of current Egyptian life. I try to tackle both social and political problems as honestly as I can. We have some huge problems to overcome and only through knowledge and the ability to see as many facets of each problem and recognise them for what they are, will we be able to work towards solutions.
I am also deeply involved in animal welfare in Egypt. I love animals, all animals, and I have a very deep respect for life and a strong belief that all God’s creatures have the right to live. Egypt being the fifth country worldwide in cruelty to animals does not make my task easy. Every day there is an atrocity somewhere, and practically every day there is something that needs to be rectified, animals rescued, others helped or people stopped from cruelty or just educated about how to treat them.
After a full year of working on both subjects, of writing a daily article, and sometimes two per day, just to keep up, I am starting to feel the strain. It is only now that I recall what my Mother had told me one evening during one of her hospitalisation stints over the last few weeks of her life. She was very calm and was giving me some really good advice which I did not appreciate till some time after she passed away. One such piece of advice was that, although I enjoy my writing, I should not let it rule my life. This piece of advice is resonating with me a great deal these days. I am the one who imposed upon myself the obligation to write a daily article tackling every new problem. I am the one who feels an obligation to not miss out on any opportunity to clarify a situation or give needed information to open up new vistas of thought or see matters from a different perspective.
The problem now is that I have generated a rather large following, in both fields, the general socio-political one and that of animal welfare. This in itself is a kind of pressure to continue with my writing. Also there is the fact that I simply cannot stop. I have to write. It has become some sort of compulsion.
I had stopped writing in English for some time as I was taken up by my Arabic writing, but just lately, and I think practically unconsciously, I returned to writing in English which was my first medium. I now realise that it is through my English writings that I can express my internal confusion. This, then is my therapy. Here is where I regain my balance.
Happiness is finding one’s balance, and here I have found mine. I shall be giving my English articles more room, for through them I do regain the balance of my soul, the quiet of my mind and the healing needed to continue what I think of as my duty towards the country I love and God’s creatures who I adore.